For the hungover, by the hungover

With football season upon us, it's happening more often. You wake up, head pounding, stomach queasy, afraid to look at your phone and it's official: you have acquired a hangover. A hangover varies from person to person but is usually characterized as the unpleasant after-effects of consuming alcohol, which can include nausea, headache, fatigue, vomiting, trouble concentrating, difficulty sleeping, fever and an aversion to anything alcohol-related. Most of you reading this have been there; after a football game, a big test you passed, some holiday or maybe after your 21st birthday at which your friends "iced" you four times. Whatever the case, here you are, feeling bad physically and most likely embarrassed (you performed that favorite showchoir dance of yours, ate three burritos at 3 a.m. or perhaps sent that text message you regret now) and you need to feel better quick.
Seeing as I have only just recently reached legal drinking age and therefore have abstained, I don't have immense personal insight on hangovers, but I have compiled some research and talked to other of-age drinkers to try and shed some (dim) light on the subject.
First things first: you need water. Dehydration is the cornerstone of the hangover, generally contributing to the headache and fatigue. Also, water (or vitamin-rich orange juice or a sports drink) helps flush out any toxins that are still in your body, contributing to your woes. The best beverage for the hangover besides water? Naked Juice Green Goodness. Trust me: all the nutrients in that green liquid (including wheatgrass, kiwi and barley) are your morning-after best friends.
Second, after hydrating you're going to want to make a decision. Do you have class, work or some other time-sensitive obligation? Then you need to move on to damage control tactic number two: food. No responsibilities? You might also want food, but your best bet is to stay horizontal and nap it off. Sleep is the ultimate hangover cure, second only to water. As far as food goes, you should try to eat healthy. Simple foods such as bread, bananas or eggs will be easier on your stomach than something greasy or fried, but I suggest whatever treat pops into your head that doesn't make you nauseated. If you are feeling too queasy for food, don't worry and keep on sippin' that Gatorade, and reach for the Tums; it'll do you good. Something else you might want to try: milk thistle. Apparently this herb helps your body jumpstart its recovery.
A third option is exercise. Raising your metabolic rate and sweating out toxins sounds great in theory, but my experiences show that getting up to run a mile or two while hungover is a very lofty, if not absurd, goal. I suggest oxygen. Sounds silly but your cells need to recover, and how do they function best? Oxygenated. Take a couple deep breaths and hold them for 15 seconds, repeating this occasionally until you feel better. Taking a multivitamin or at least a B vitamin complex is also going to do wonders for replenishing what you lost last night and getting you to a higher level of functioning.
We've all heard an alcoholic beverage the next morning, two Tylenol before bed or a cup of coffee can make you feel better but, unfortunately, this isn't always the case. A beverage such as a Bloody Mary will only fend off symptoms through nutrient-rich tomato juice and actually just prolong the hangover in the long run. Tylenol before bed not only wears off before you wake, but also causes some potentially serious liver damage each time because alcohol increases the side  effects (for headaches try Motrin or Advil instead). And coffee? Well it might help your fatigue, but it will only dehydrate you and potentially agitate your stomach further.
Want to avoid the whole mess in the first place? Your best option is to drink as much water as possible while drinking alcohol and afterwards. Nip that dehydration in the bud. Also, being aware of what you drink is influential. Mixing different types of alcohol can lead to a worse hangover than sticking to just one type of drink. You can always not drink at all, the painfully obvious, fool-proof way not to get hungover, but, then again, you knew that already.